I Should Have Stayed with Old Spice

I took the day off from my farm duties and went shopping for new cologne. Tried a few samples and settled on one I really like. Came home wearing a bit of eau de cowpoo and thought it made me smell quite manly. My mistake. Let me impart a bit of wisdom to my terrier friends out there -- humans not only have fewer old-factories senses than we canines, but they have a completely different set of old-factories and take major offense at some of the odors we think are interesting. And when Mom wrinkles her muzzle up and say, "Ewww!", you'd better run.

I wasn't fast enough. Into the bathtub, splish-splash, she 'bout scrubbed my hide off. My whites have never been so white. It was quite an insult, really. I will definitely have to warn My Boy about this.

~Tell

Beggars

Okay, first I have to apologize for Mom's Far Side sense of humor in reference to Ruby Tuesday's future. No, Ruby will not end up a medium rare special on the menu. The Vet has confirmed that she will have a calf in the spring after the last show, and she will be living the good life on Uncle P's farm. All she has to look forward to is eating well, filling out and being a mama cow. Good Moos for her.

As for me, my day started out pretty well. I finished the hole I was excavating ahead of schedule, so I started on a new hole in the corner of the yard. Things were going well, and I was just thinking how much faster I could dig with a little Kubota backhoe. I believe I could do some serious damage with one of those. I will talk to My Boy about our budget and see if we can get one. Anyway, my hole was coming along quite well when suddenly I found myself on the other side of the backyard fence! Well, it was time for lunch break anyhow, so I decided to put in a little time exploring. Never turn down an opportunity to sniff out new things.

I hadn't been out long when The Family came home and discovered me loafing about my job. They weren't too happy about the shape I was in, either. I went into some pretty rough brush, and brought a few burrs home with me. These are very tiny burrs called hitchhikers, beggar-lice, beggar-ticks, sticktights, tick clover, or as I sometimes call them, ohshucks stickum tightus. They were thickly embedded, thousands of them, all over me.

There was no getting out of it. I got put straight on the grooming table. This was going to take a lot of brushing to set things right.

You might say I led with the nose.

It took over an hour of brushing to get them all out. Yeah, I lost some hair over this adventure. Then I had to endure a bath, more brushing and fluffing and buffing before I was pronouced clean. Mom says I'm an exasperating pup to live with. What can I say? It's a gift.

Man, I can't wait to get back to work!

~Tell

Pansy's New 'Do

Look what happened to our calico cat, Pansy. She got a new new hairdo.

This is before...

And this is after...

I didn't do it. No, siree. Nope, Mom got tired of all that long, matted hair, and Pansy was getting cranky from the matting and itching. She was also hacking hairballs and was terribly uncomfortable. It's a fierce battle to brush her (Pansy spits and claws), so we got out the old clippers and -- Voila! -- Kitty feels much better now. She even felt good enough to pounce and play with the silk flowers afterwards.

Of course, we terriers are snickering behind her back. Pansy doesn't take redicule lightly and would just as soon slap us as ignore us. Best to lay low for the time being. You know, with my talent as an experienced chicken-plucker, you would think Mom would have let me have a go at fur. I could have removed that tangled hair pretty quickly...given the chance, even the poodle pom-pom at the end of her tail. But noooooo, nobody asked for my help.

But maybe next time...as we all know, hair (and feathers) grow back.

~Tell